This was sent to me by a friend a few years ago and I have passed it along from time to time to others that I think may appreciate it.
Dear Folks:
My Aunt Tillie could bake like nobody's business. Cakes, pies, pastries of all kinds -- and she really had a field day at Christmastime. But sometimes she got a bit stressed with all the work. Like any well-rounded, healthy individual, she knew how to handle it: she would take a moment to relax, and then bake something she truly enjoyed.
Below, her recipe for beating holiday stress. Or something like that.
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskey
Step One!
Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still OK.
Cry another tup.
Turn off mixer.
Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt.
Or something.
Who cares?
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table spoon.
Of sugar or something.
Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whiskey again.
Go to bed.
Who the heck likes fruitcake anyway?
YIELD: 1 drunken woman
CATEGORY: Cakes; Subcategory: General Cakes; Sub-subcategory: Fruuuiiittt Crakes...
