Would it be possible to cook part of the meal and put in the thermo server and then cook the rest and dish up? Or if you have the time do some on the weekend so you only have to defrost and do the veggies.
You certainly have a lot of hurdles to overcome, I agree.
Would having the children help make something, eg sorbet, help them to cope with food that is touching? Could you dish food up in separate dishes so that it is completely separate ( even if it has been cooked in the same varoma) and allow the children to take each food and eat it before taking the next food?
I know casseroles etc would be impossible this way. Unless you did meat, and each Vegie separately. You could mix them and they be separate.
Good luck.
