What age/when is it okay to leave kids home alone?

[tarasis]

Trying to move the conversation out of the what are we cooking thread as I think its an interesting topic and one that is quite relevant to me at the moment.

Relevant quotes from the other thread

Yeah its not unusual for me to have a house full of kids most weekends. My next door neighbor works on the weekend and leaves her kids home alone (I don't approve as they are only 8 and 11) So they end up here nearly every weekend so I figure they may as well join in.

way 2 young to be left alone 

oh that is so annoying...some parents are just so irresponsible    At least they have you for neighbours dede !

it makes me so mad when i see kids as young as 6 walking home from school alone....who the hell does that..sorry that and kids with no seat belts is a sore point for me 

oh that is so annoying...some parents are just so irresponsible    At least they have you for neighbours dede !

it makes me so mad when i see kids as young as 6 walking home from school alone....who the hell does that..sorry that and kids with no seat belts is a sore point for me  

Come to Germany, its mostly expected that children 6+ will walk home or get the bus home alone from school. Our son is desperate too do it but I've resisted so far these last 6 weeks as I enjoy spending the 20-25 minutes each way with him & him alone.

As to being left alone, its a matter of degree's I guess. I remember being left by my gran while she went shopping for a few hours on my own, it never bothered me as I was a fairly responsible kid (I think this was in the 8-11 bracket). I also was kind of left alone by my mum (I think more from 11-13+), in the sense of she would work nights as a nurse so at times I would come home from school to her still asleep in bed for a few more hours, or if it was a Sunday I'd be up from 8-9am with her going to bed and getting up for breakfast around 5pm. I could go out, play in, have friends in but I just had to be quiet (only a couple of times I failed that); oh yeah and I had to sort my own lunch out

Based on that we've been trying to work out what is the right age to leave our oldest alone (and for how long), particularly with the expectation that kids are supposed to be coming home from school alone. I've a couple of times left him for 25 minutes while I cycled to Kindergarten to get my daughter, while he was doing his homework. It worked out fine but I don't know.

[Frozzie]

its a tricky question tarasis... im just not ok with parents leaving kids alone so young...not in todays world...they are just not capable to deal with difficult or emergency situations and I find it irresponsable parenting and lazy for parents who leave young kids alone..but thats my opinion although like i said on the other thread...some parents have no choice...others do and just cant be bothered so decide they are old enough...its easy to get sick of having to stay home or to take kids with you everywhere but ask a parent who has had something happen to their child by leaving them home alone or having them go to and from the shops alone or to and from school...in oz alot of you will know of Daniel Morcombe and his story and their are thousands of kids like him..this is a subject close to home for me...I am fortunate enough to be able to be home for my kids and be there wherever they need to be taken and I dont think I will ever be comfortable with them being home alone while they are young...even as older teenagers it would all depend on how they are...there are so many elements that can come into this but my original response to a comment was to do with young kids alot from age 6-8 being left alone...thats just wrong as in my opinion they are no where near old enough nor ready to be left alone...

[Frozzie]

oh just have to add as a thought....think of what age you find your kids are no longer naive, are capable of evaluating a difficult situation and think how much you are wanting your kids to be independant as opposed to wanting to have more free time  ...

[andiesenji]

It certainly depends on where you live.  In California it is a crime to leave children unattended and people who do, even for a short time, may have Children's Services swoop in and take the kids, even if a teen is left in charge. 
Children here do not walk to school alone, it is too dangerous as there are too many predators that, in spite of some stringent laws, live in close proximity to schools and there are just too many nutters around. 

It was different forty years ago but things have changed greatly since then.  There are still many more rural areas where children are safer but I live in a rural area and it certainly is not safe here for children on their own.  The school buses stop down the road from my home and parents escort their children to and from the bus, making sure they get on it before leaving. 

Kids can also get into things on their own without outside help.  One of my friends is the principal of an elementary school and a few weeks ago one of the children, a 9-year-old, brought a bottle of chewable vitamins to school and was passing them out as candy.  Three children became ill and had to be taken by ambulance to the ER. 
Now the school is checking all backpacks as the children arrive in their classrooms.  This takes away from study time and the school has had to hire three teacher assistants and were already on a very tight budget. 
One would think a child of that age would know better but sometimes they want to impress their friends and do something that is potentially dangerous. 

[Frozzie]

I agree andie..unfortunately in europe they like to force kids to be independant at a young age and let kids roam around the streets even at a very young age..I often see very young kids walking home alone and think my goodness that kid is defenseless and there are alot of predators in any country...i have come across alot just where I live...i have even had creepy men come to my fence and try to get the kdis attention in our old house..it happened when we were in a new housing lot and there werent alot of people in houses and in shopping centers it happens alot creepy guys following me and the kids around..(they soon get the mama wolf element)...i see six or seven year olds taking their younger brothers or sisters to school..seriously makes me fuming mad...there are alot of creeps around, very sick people in any country..some worse than others and like andie mentioned put that aside from accidents in the home or kids showing off to their friends...i drum into my kids about never trusting anyone and there are bad people who will be nice to be able to hurt you...i dont believe in sheltering kids from the truth either...the world is a rough place and I just dont udnerstand parents who leave their kids home alone...i know a number of parents who even go away on holidays and leave their kids home alone....but unfortunately often they are low income earners who find it normal to leave their kids at home alone as they have oftne done it to go to work etc all their life as they cant afford childcare..to me there is always a solution..a neighbour, a friend, family somebody is always around to help out...ill shut up now lol 

[fundj&e]

This is a very touchy subject. Some parents have no other choice

My kids did walk to school but all ways in a group and the school was only 1 street away
Trying to think at what age that was, maybe DD was 10 and DS was 9

And for leaving them alone at home that depends on the child, i could leave DD on her own, but could not leave DS on his own (high school age) i would worry more when both were at home together lol

 I was very lucky back then, i was always at home for my kids and still am. If i am not at home they will track me down lol

[dede]

I always worry about kids left home alone or walking any where on their own. I even worry about my DD ( going to the next door neighbours house on her own so the kids jump the fence. I won't let her walk any where on her own. My other DD is 11 and I don't let her walk alone either she always has some one with her. Both my DS's are in high school and im comfortable to let them walk alone and be left home alone for short periods.
And my youngest of cause he is never left alone. He once walk to school with my 11 year old daughter with me following behind in the car to keep an eye on them lol. I'm am so paranoid about predators or even cars reversing out of drive ways and not seeing these smaller children. It only takes something to happen and you would never forgive yourself and it's so not worth it. Much better to avoid it altogether.
We have a mother at the kindergarten who leaves her 2 year old daughter in the car while she picks up her other daughter from kinder which could take 15 minutes. In the entire year I think she has had her out twice. Why would anyone leave their kids in the car? Is it somich effort to get them out? The only time I leave my youngest in the car is when I have someone else to be there with him. Again anything could happen. I once seen a boy who wad left in a car while his mother went to the shop, he got out and ran across the street and got hit by another car. It was horrible. ( luckily the boy was not badly injured but it could of been so much worse)

[Frozzie]

I think much the same as you dede and just dont understand the thinking of some parents..i just dont understand it other than thinking in most instances it just to be lazy or them finding it an inconvenience...like you said if something happens its too late...imo better to be safe than sorry.

[dede]

Oh and what about that 14 year old who was arrested in Bali for having drugs. Why was he left alone to wander the streets in a different country. I couldn't imagine my 14 year old having to go through something like that. It would be so scary. I know he has done the wrong thing but I don't thinka prison sentence for a young child like that would help him in any way.

[fundj&e]

Oh feel so sorry for that boy in bali, i just can image him crying for is mummy .i get goose bumps just thinking about it.

[dede]

Same here fundj.
Another story I remember is a fee years ago 3 children where left in a car alone. The found a lighter and caught the car alight and a passer by pulled 3 very burnt children out of that car. All 3 children survived but are extremely scared from head to toe. In only takes a few seconds for think to go from ok to devastating.
As parents we are constantly telling our kids don't do this and don't do that or something bad could happen. But if we are not with them then they do it anyway because they can't see beyond the fact that it could be fun. And think 90% of injurys our children receive is when we are not supervising them. Weather it be a stubed toe or a broken bone.

[fundj&e]

And whats with the parents that leave the kids in the car while they are gambling

Accidents still do happen even with supervising, dede

[dede]

I know they do fundj but alot are prevented with supervision. We can't watch our kids all the time that's for sure.

[Nay-nay]

I have always been very aware of this and would always freak out when leaving kids with hubby and finding out he left the house but (not property) - the thing is he could just go over to cattle yards but that would be the 'other side of town' in distance away! but he didn't see it it as leaving them at home - he grew up on farm whereas I was a towny. Now they are older I still leave strict instructions and take the phone with me when working on farm (sometimes just can't get DD10 doing farmwork - she should have been a towny!  ).

[medusa]

Has anyone read this website http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/, I find it very interesting.  I am by nature  a hovering helicopter parent but I am trying hard to let me kids have some age appropriate freedom.  I am not sure we are doing our kids many favours by restricting all their freedom, what sort of generation will they grow up into.   Don't get me wrong, I am the first person to be protective and make sure my kids are safe but I am starting to question the wisdom of this.