One of my friends on another forum just posted this. It was an email from an old friend.
CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE
Ingredients: 2 cups flour
115 grams of butter
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda*
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt*
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice*
4 large eggs
Nuts
2 bottles wine
2 cups of dried fruit
Sample the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK.
Try another cup... Just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of
dried fruit.
Pick the ****** fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.
Check the wine.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can
find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Check the wine.
Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine. Wipe worktop with cat.