What have you been doing today?

[cookie1]

True CP. this lady was a little wary of a stranger speaking to her so I didn't push it.

[Wonder]

Bad start to my day today. Had to get DD to the airport to send her off on her schoolies trip and was needing to get a note I knew DS had bought home from school, while getting the note out of his bag I unearthed at least a few weeks worth of lunches  It is such a waste of time, money and lovely food. He is seriously testing my patience at the moment. I had a meeting with his pastoral leader (like a home room teacher) to get to the bottom of him not doing his school work and now this!!! I hate seeing food wasted and it either means he's not eating at all while at school or he's taking our money without us realising to spend at the tuckshop. Thankfully his teacher is very supportive and was reassuring that most of this behaviour is pretty normal for 14 year old boys. Also had a disagreement with DD because she always asks my advice on her clothing, but we have such different tastes in clothes that she is never happy with my honest opinon so I always try and be positive but she picks up that I don't like what she is wearing and then gets upset with me. So this morning both DD and DS have left angry with me and I've now got a full day of work to get through as well as sorting out a mess with DS basketball transfer papers as they are threatening he won't be able to play in a comp this weekend which will shatter him. sorry for all the moaning, better get to work!!

[Cornish Cream]

Moan away Wonder,we all have bad days.I hope your day ends on a positive note

[obbie]

Wonder, I hope the day end up better for you and your kids.

Moan away, we are here.... sending big hugs

[JulieO]

Wonder:   

[judydawn]

Teenage years can be testing Wonder, hang in there - they will appreciate you one day. 

[courton]

Ok, wise people on the Forum. I need your help. Mum had a major stroke two weeks ago and is in hospital. Since she has lost 90% of her vision, balance, coordination, memory loss, confusion and is incontinent I have had to make an extremely hard decision that the next step is a nursing home since she needs 24 hour care. My problem is she is yearning to come home, keeps asking when she can come home (to live with us as my parents have been doing for the last two years). My father who has dementia keeps asking the same question. I am having sleepless nights trying to figure how to break this gently to mum - and to dad.

Sorry if this is all too serious for the forum but would love people's views.

[judydawn]

No-one can give 24 hour care Courton, believe me.  When Geoff was in hospital before going into the nursing home, I asked my care provider what extra care they could give me and it was very little extra to what I was already receiving.  They did say they could increase my 2 hours a week respite hours by 1 hour though - I thought that was very big of them but that was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I knew I couldn't do it, everyone, including doctors and nurses and family were telling me I had done enough for over 20 years so sadly, the decision had to be made.  Luckily Geoff's mental state at the time was such that he wasn't aware of what was happening and in the last 6 months in the home, he has improved so much but never asks to come home. 

Make the tough call courton, call a family meeting and see what everyone thinks but I think there is only one way to go here and although it may be hard on everyone to start with, as time goes by it will sort itself out.   Maybe Dad could get a placement in the same nursing home if you thought it would help them both being together.  There is a married couple where Geoff is, they have a double room.

Good luck with your decision, my heart goes out to you and your parents. 

[courton]

Thank you for your words Judy, especially valuable given your recent experience with Geoff. I am the only off spring so the buck well and truly stops with me.

I don't know how to sugar coat the move to the nursing home to mum since she will be heart broken. I have been thinking of putting my dad in as well but he is manageable at the moment. Although there are a few hairy times!!

[*suzanne*]

no advice courton but big hugs to you, I think Judy said it all beautifully xx

[*suzanne*]

wonder teenagers are very trying at times I hope your day gets better xx

[obbie]

I would call a family meeting, and start looking at the best options for a nursing home.

My parents have decided to move to a nursing home part time, that has 3 levels of care.
They are going to go between their house, and the nursing home.

Its a hard decision,  but you have to be sensible, about what is best for them long term.

sending hugs

[dede]

Oh wonder I hear your frustrations. I have 3 teenagers and yes they can be very testing at times.
Do we get some kind of medal at the end of teenage years?? Cause that's the only thing stopping me from pulling all my hair out

Today I had a s**t day at work, nothing seem to go right. I'm so glad to be home now and have no more work until Sunday night
I'm going to enjoy my weekend.

[mab19]

I'm keeping you in my thoughts Courton.  I have been where you are now and it is a hard decision but you have to do what is best for your parents and also what is best for you.  Hugs. Margaret.

[djinni373]

Oh Courton. Those of us who have been in this situation know how difficult and heart-wrenching it is
You probably already know what has to be done but sometimes it is incredibly difficult to do it 
xx