What have you been doing today?

[gertbysea]

Courton. I agree with judy. You cannot do it all. Make a decision on what is best for you and for your family.

Hugs from me too.

Gretchen

[Bedlam]

No experience with these matters Courton. Other than my brother had a stroke a few years ago and i cared for him weekend as respite for him from rehab.  They were living in the country. Hard work,  all i can do is send you my love. Xx

Wonder, it could be my life you are talking about. Going back a few years now.  My sons teacher told me how he was binning the lovely sandwhiches i packed him, he said he knewi had made them as they were cut in 1/2.  My son was a bit older and had part time work so i didnt mke anything fromntht time forth. Felt dissapointed.  My  girls say i shouldnt be as blunt with my comments, i think if you cant be honest with family who can you be.  Try not to get too caught up, easy to say hard to do! Love to you too x

[Emme]

Wonder, hope your day has improved.   

Courton, wise words from Judy, very hard decision but you have to do what is right for you and your family.  Big hug

[Cornish Cream]

Sending hugs Courton Such wise words from Judy who has been through this difficult decision.

[Halex]

Must sending you hugs.

X

[cookie1]

Wonder your son sounds normal. It won't make you feel any better though.

Courton I have been through your situation a couple of times. It is VERY hard. I'd look for somewhere your folks can be together if at all possible. Even if your Mum was taken to another section to sit with your Dad. It would be heart breaking for them to be separated.
You have to think of your own health and your family. You can still visit them every day. I visited Mum every day and on Saturdays I picked her up and she spent the day with me in my home.
MIL would not go into care and the social worker was great as she needs 24 hour care. They said shed couldn't live with family as no one can give that kind of care alone. Sadly we had to go to court but MIL didnt really understand. My DH is now her guardian. A funny twist of affairs.
It is going to be gut wrenching what ever you do. I know exactly how you feel. Hugs.

[CreamPuff63]

courton, I have no answers only sympathy as it would be very hard to make a decision being an only child.

ask your DS wonder what the answer is - does he want to make his own lunches, or does he want you to stop making them as it appears to be a waste of time, or maybe he tells you what he wants and then one day a week he can have tuckshop. If he wants to buy his lunch every day, then tell him he needs to get a job after school so he can afford to. A lot of boys don't mature until at least 21 and unfortunately you have to just offer the best advice you can and always be there for him until he gets his act together. If you think money is going missing, I'd suggest getting a combination safe from the hardware shop - painful to have to remember to lock up your wallets, but you need to do it while he is going through this stage. Your DD's may also need to keep their money in there as well. Make sure you spend a little quality time together to talk, and it doesn't always have to be about school just something he likes talking about eg. basketball you'll get through it with wine time

[courton]

Thank you all for your lovely comments. I may see if I can approach the topic this weekend since she keeps questioning me about  her future. It is so so hard.

[Katiej]

Courton I hope you are able to come to a decision.
I don't have anything to add to the other girls advice (as I have no experience in this), but I wish you and your family all the best, it's such a hard time.

Take care xx

[BeezeeBee]

That's so very difficult, Courton. A decision that most of us will have to eventually face. Hope you find peace with your decision soon.

I feel for you, Wonder. My DS14 gave us similar issues with money last year

[Halex]

Wonder, i hope your day got better.

I hate food waste too, maybe pack him 1/2 & see how he goes. If cp hasnt eaten all his lunchbox he has to have it for afternoon tea, unless its gone off.

H

[Itsnotartitsdinner]

I remember my sister doing the same Wonder. Although she would shove hers under the bed and my mum would discover them at end of term and weep!

I'm sorry you are having to make those decisions Courton. But it really is for the best for her and you. I do think it would be hard to break up your mum from your dad. Perhaps they could both go?

[kezza]

Courton and Wonder, you have received some lovely responses and advice.  Wonder, teenagers can be trying, but you have to stay firm and they really do know they are loved at the end of the day. Courton, my family has been through similar last year with my FIL and it is heartbreaking.  However, you will make the right decision for all involved.  If it makes it easier to vent on this forum, you go right ahead. That's what we are all here for.

[Nikkit]

Courton and Wonder - no advice just lots of hugs your way.

[courton]

Well, last night mum insisted on knowing what her future was going to be and so I told her that unfortunately nursing home was the only viable option. I don't know how much has sunk in since she was depressed but I will know in the next few days  - I used all my sugar coating skills to the point I don't know if she absorbed my message!