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Author Topic: Fifty Shades of Grey  (Read 11121 times)

Offline Cuilidh

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Fifty Shades of Grey
« on: April 12, 2013, 01:20:36 am »
I have just received by email a great poem by Pam Ayres but I am not sure if anyone would like me to put it onto the forum so I’ll throw it open to you all – if 5 or more people ask me to put it up I will, otherwise I will PM it to anyone who is familiar with the book and who wants a great laugh.  Incidentally, I thought the book was absolute cr*p, but the poem is totally irreverent, very funny and is not graphic in any way.
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Marina from Melbourne and Guildford
I can resist everything except temptation - Oscar Wilde.

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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2013, 01:23:05 am »
I would love to see it Cuilidh. I got to page 84 of that book and nothing had happened at all, that was as far as I read.
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Offline cookie1

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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2013, 01:35:44 am »
I read about 50 pages and thought I have better stuff to read. So I would love the poem too. I think Pam Ayres has a great sense of humour and enjoy seeing her.
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Offline jo_nz

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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2013, 01:40:15 am »
Oh, go on then.  I could use a laugh!   :)
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Jo

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.

Offline Mama Fergie

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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2013, 01:44:10 am »
I gave up on the book too but would love to see the poem. Pam Ayres is so clever and funny. :)
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Offline Halex

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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey
« Reply #5 on: April 12, 2013, 02:13:18 am »
I havent read the book, but I love Pam Ayres
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Mum to Crown Prince......

Offline Cuilidh

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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2013, 02:23:54 am »
OK, hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husbands point of view)
 
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
... T'was "fifty shades of grey".
 
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
 
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
 
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
 
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
 
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
 
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
 
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left t*t!
 
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
 
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.
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Marina from Melbourne and Guildford
I can resist everything except temptation - Oscar Wilde.

mcmich

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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2013, 02:32:59 am »
 ;D ;D ;D Love It ;D ;D ;D
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Offline Mama Fergie

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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey
« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2013, 02:34:01 am »
Can't stop laughing here absolutely hilarious  ;D
Thanks for sharing  :)
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Offline jo_nz

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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey
« Reply #9 on: April 12, 2013, 02:38:19 am »
Hehehe.
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Jo

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.

Offline Yvette

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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey
« Reply #10 on: April 12, 2013, 02:42:00 am »
Hilarious
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Offline goldfish

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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2013, 02:42:25 am »
Lol! Thanks for that!! :)
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Offline obbie

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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey
« Reply #12 on: April 12, 2013, 03:39:23 am »
 :D :D :D :D :D :D
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Offline astarra

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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey
« Reply #13 on: April 12, 2013, 04:27:40 am »
Laughing so hard - can't wait to show it to DH  :D :D :D
(even tho neither of us ever read the book!)
« Last Edit: April 12, 2013, 04:31:26 am by astarra »
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:D

Offline Nikkit

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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey
« Reply #14 on: April 12, 2013, 04:28:54 am »
What a cracker!  ;D
I haven't read the book, but pretty sure I don't need to now!
Oh gawd....that's conjuring up all sorts of "scrub eyeball" type images.  :o
Thanks ... I think!
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