Oh wise ones.... advice please!

[brazen20au]

Ryan (6) has generally been a pretty good eater, will try any vegie & his fave thing is a salad etc.... but lately he is becoming fussier and fussier and because he hardly eats protein foods he is ALWAYS hungry - so he'll leave the dinner table and ask to make himself a sandwich 

i constantly worry that he must be hungry at school and it must be affecting him (we have been having a LOT of problems with him at school and are investigating possible aspergers / PDD-NOS at the moment).) the other day i was there and he hurriedly ate his lunch right at the end of lunchtime, then less than 1.5 hours later was complaining that he was too hungry to stay and play with friends after school.

anyway, this is what he won't eat - suggestions for snacks and meals or just ways to increase his protein intake very welcome.

• chicken
• most meats unless they're mince or sausages
• cold meats
• cheese
• yoghurt
• nuts
• lentils, chickpeas, beans (he used to love them and i would give them when we have chicken but no more )
• hommus
• eggs, except in cakes etc

he also won't eat anything for lunch at school except a tomato, lettuce and cucumber sandwich, which sounds healthy but he's as skinny as a rake. *sigh*

[Thermomixer]

Sorry, you know me and kids.  I'll think about it though.

[brazen20au]

even just suggestions of high protein things i've overlooked would be great! i'm feeling really stuck

[cookie1]

Poor you and Ryan. It sounds like a very rough time. I know this sounds really dumb but have you done the usual thorough check with a doctor-eyes, ears, anaemia, worms  etc. Occasionally this finds something. It will be hard to get him to change if there is the possibility of Aspergers. I will put my thinking cap on.  

Is there a chance he is being bullied somewhere? Perhaps some child has told him he is fat.  Chin up.

[brazen20au]

he's defintiely had ears, eyes and iron levels (plus other blood tests including for coeliac) done and all clear worms we haven't done, he hasn't said anything about being itchy, but will keep it in mind.

yes, he has started being bullied at school - brought on by his own behaviour at school (refusing to participate for whole days on end, spending the time under the desk and often banging for attention etc. being sent to the principal / DP regularly etc etc refusing to speak to or play with any of his friends and classmates )

he has never been fat, he is just skin and bone LOL (but weight to height ratio is fine as he is quite wiry and muscle weighs more of course)

[cookie1]

Karen my heart goes out to you. I will keep the thinking hat on.

[Ceejay]

Food has always been an issue for my eldest (15) since he was 6 or so.  He wasn't diagnosed with Aspergers until he was 13 due to his cancer diagnosis (at almost 7) though.

I see it as his way to *attempt* to control something in his life.  He refuses to take lunches to school and often won't eat breakfast either.... this means he is ravenous by the afternoon and demolishes anything in sight.

My solution was to not make a huge deal of it... take bulk amounts of food to school (which is stored at the SEU) so that he could access it if he really wanted to.  At home, I continue to cook food he can eat and just leave it in the fridge.  He refuses dinner most nights so I've allowed him to cook for himself now.  If he's not feeling that he wants to prepare it, I find he will eat the "leftovers" in the fridge.

He is extremely thin... he currently weighs 40kg from memory, when most boys his age are at least 56kg upwards, but he is healthy enough.

Otherwise, if I wish to introduce new foods, I find it better to allow him to have some input into it.  It's a tough road and they often dig their heels in to begin with but slowly take it in..

I wish you much strength and patience for now... no child will willingly starve himself if there is food available.

Good luck with the assessment, I pray yours is speedy. 

[Chelsea (Thermie Groupie)]

Gosh that is tricky Karen. I remember going through similar situations with students and families when I was teaching and it was very stressful for them.  I will have a think and go back through my Aspergers notes for you.

Just off the top of my head . . .

Does Ryan's school warm up meals for students? Would he eat a sausage, rissole or meatballs that had been pre-cooked at home and warmed by a staff member?

Will he tolerate soup at the moment? Perhaps he would like to choose a special little thermos to take his soup to school in?

Is he open to a little bribery?  You could use a divided snack container and place assorted items in each section (buttered bread, raw vegie sticks, cheese, dried fruit, crackers, wrapped lunch meat, a chocolate square or small biscuit) and make the rule (with his teachers support) that he has to eat all of the food in one section before he can move on to the next.

Will keep thinking.  Good luck. 

[achookwoman]

Karen, sounds like a social / behavioral problem to me, manifesting itself as an  eating problem.    Does he have a special friend that you could invite home to try and build some peer support at school?
Is there some thing that he enjoys doing that you could concentrate on ?
Could the school give him some special task at lunch time to remove him from the school yard,  and perhaps bulling ?

I feel for both of you,   and there are some good ideas in these posts.

[versaceyoyo]

I have no advice Karen, but I feel for you.  I have a 3 yo DD who eats very little but says her favourite food is chuppa chups. 

It's very hard as a mother just to 'go with the flow' when you feel your child is actually not eating essential nutrients...I wish I could be more helpful.

[I Love Bimby!]

Karen, would that book Deceptively Delicious be of any benefit?

[Russell]

Wow, that list he won't it is most of the stuff mine will eat. Try to get a salad into them though, and it's like trying to get a cat to swallow a tablet.

Does he say why he doesn't like those things? Is it the taste? The texture? Some perceived after effect? I know when I was a kid, some foods like beans I think it was, almost made me gag trying to eat them, but I eat them fine now. No idea why though.

My ASD boy likes only very bland foods. He will eat just straight cooked mince, chicken or most other meats, but as soon as you try to add any flavouring, he doesn't like it. ASD kids can be hyper sensitive to stuff like that. However, the foods on your list don't seem particularly flavoursome.

If he will eat sausages, you can hide a multitude of things inside them, and with the Thermomix and being able to make your own, that could be a nice healthy alternative. When we go on the FAILSAFE diet, I think we'll be making out own sausages, sausage rolls, pies etc.

Sorry not much help.

Russell.

[judydawn]

Karen, my DH will not eat anything for tea if he has a cooked lunch (which we usually have) or if he has a small lunch only wants a very small tea so I give him Hospital Grade Sustagen when he doesn't want a meal to ensure he is getting the nutrients his body needs.  Whether this is suitable for a 6 year old, in addition to what he does eat,  is something you would have to find out from your doctor or nutritionalist. 

[brazen20au]

thank you all, i am reading and will try to reply in teh next day or two some great ideas, thanks

[Chelsea (Thermie Groupie)]

When you have a moment Karen (funny I know ) you should let us know what Ryan likes to eat at the moment and that may also help us come up with some more helpful ideas.  He may like berry muffins (Quirky Jo's wholegrain spelt blender batter muffins), pancakes (wholegrain brown rice blender batter pancakes) or perhaps milo (Cathy's high protein milo recipe - great in a little flask with milk-cubes to keep it cold).

I hope you have some news soon regarding his diagnosis. Food and eating are often among the first areas affected by social and behavioural disorders so it is good to have him checked out just in case.