Totally Off Topic, sorry

[cookie1]

Hally, it may be worth enquiring with tomorrow's teacher as ideally they should leave each other messages about the things that have been going on. A communication book sort of thing. It would save you waiting.

[bickie]

Hally, because I read this last thing before going to sleep last night - I dreamt about it!!! And all turned out well in the dream LOL. It is odd for me as I have been coming to this forum for about a year - but not posting. So i feel like i know you all really well but as you don't know me i was starting to feel like a weirdo stalker! So thought I better start contributing. Probably hasn't helped my cause to say I dreamt about you!  Glad it all worked out well with your  DS' teacher - in real life I mean!

[mcmich]

I'm glad the teacher took some action Hally. Boy some of you girls had awful teachers.
I'm in my fifties went to public primary school and private high school but can't remember any dusters being thrown.
My piano teacher did hit me over the knuckles for mistakes but that only made me more determined to perfect my pieces.

[judydawn]

Thanks for sharing your story Rosie.  Your GS must have shown a lot of improvement over the years for him to now be in the mainstream class for most of the time. It would be a shame to cut him off from social contact, as to make his way in life surely he must have to learn how to cope with all sorts of situations.  What wonderful grandparents you are to take on the responsibility of bringing him up.  I hope things work out for all of you no matter which path you decide to go down.

[RosieB]

Thanks Judy.
He is very intelligent, but has no social skills and learns things very differently to most children. And is having therapy for speech impediments.  He has trouble in the classroom and gets bored easily if the subject is not his interest.  He loves history and anthropology and this is all he talks about or wants to learn.  He knows all about dodos and Mauritius, but cant dress himself without assistance.   Uses words that many adults would not understand in general conversation.  He was carrying on one day a couple years back (about 6 0r 7 YO) waiting in line at a checkout.  The lady behind him tried to make childish conversation and he looked at her and said. " I know what you are doing.  Trying to cheer me up.  But I am frustrated."  She smiled and replied,  that is a big word for a little boy,  What does it mean.  He just sighed,  "It means I am tired, and bored and I want to go home".  She was a bit taken aback.  about 18 months ago we over heard him explaining symbiosis to his great-grandmother.  That was funny. 

[nazar]

 [ To me it sounds like the bully perhaps has some issues going on that need to be dealt with. Not that your son should be the brunt or solver of all issues, but perhaps the bully could be invited over after school (if you can bear it) for a play with Lego. ]
 quoted from cp

l tried this with a bully which was about double size of my son   his family life not good ,a drunk father who was never home   and would leave the kids to fean for them self . l invited him over lots of times  we had fun,  ate yummy food , played playstation . l thought if we showed him some love he would not bully my son. as the  school had tried everything else . so they say , but it did not work . but the bullying did not stop at school . it got worst , and my son had bruisers   he was very friendly  to my son when he was here . but not at school . so l went to school saw he was being mean to my son . asked him if he would like to come over  today after school to play  , he said yes  , l said if he wanted to come over he needs to be nice to my son at school . it did not work . my son hated going to school , we thought it all to hard as there was lots of problems within the school that we could not sort out  so we  removed  him from the school . so now instead of walking to school we drive 10mins  to get there and 10 mins back and it was the best thing we ever did and had wished we did it 2 years earlier. we are so happy with the new school and l could not believe how much better this one runs and he gets the help he needs and problems are sorted out straight away
sorry it a bit long but l wanted to explain the story . l would never  try it again as my son happiness is important  
 

[dede]

It is so sad to think a child reverts to bullying because of what life is like at home or experiences they have had. I hear people talking about their kids being bullied all the time. And it seems to happen more in primary school than high school from my experience.

[judydawn]

Nazar, great outcome for you - glad everything worked out well even if it did mean changing schools.

[obbie]

Nazar, totally  agree.

kids today are bullied at school, and teachers do nothing about it.
I talked to teachers twice, nothing happened.
Just after there was a puppett show on anti bullying.

I had problems last year, talked to the principal, after I got assaulted.
They were fully aware of the bullying child's behaviour, and did nothing.
Something major has to happen, before teachers will do anything at all to stop it.

That child was then moved schools.

Robyn


 

[maddy]

Wow Nazar....you certainly didn't give up!  It's a shame it forced you to switch schools, .....although the new school sounds better all round.

I knew a woman who let her Daughter endure 4 years of horrid bullying from girls in High school.....so much for the zero tolerance bullying policy.....but I was astounded she still sent her Daughter everyday, crying, for 4 years       Thank god she then decided to change her schools, but I'm afraid the damage had already been done mentally  .....how much do you let your kids endure?....I was very upfront with her, and voiced my bewilderment!

I had problems last year, talked to the principal, after I got assaulted.
They were fully aware of the bullying child's behaviour, and did nothing.

OMG Robyn  was that from the child or parent?

I will just echo, any incident your child has, small or large, write it in their diaries (I assume most school's use one?).
We had physical bullying  towards my Son in Prep/grade 1...wrote down every incident in his school diary, spoke to the teacher.....nothing happened.
It was only by chance that the principal read my son's diary after I requested to see him.....he said he had no idea of what had been happening, and was shocked.  This teacher didn't pass on any of the incidents.  Thankfully it stopped immediately.

Hally....if you don't get any feed back, or are not happy with the outcome....talk to the  Principal about it.

[cookie1]

Bullying is a dreadful problem both in high school and primary. DD was bullied a little in primary school but quite a bit in high school. Fortunately the teachers at her high school (privat school) saw it happen a couple of times and more or less put a stop to it.
When parents came to me re bullying I always did my best to help. Even to the extent of secretly 'following' their child in the playground. They and all the other children just thought it was my turn to be on duty. I felt this was necessary as I detest bullying. Quite often I was able to set everyones minds at rest. Sometimes the solution was to sort out the bully, other times to explain to a small child that although someone poking their tongue at them was bullying it would be best for them to run away. etc, etc.
My heart goes out to any child who is bullied as it is ghastly for the parent and child. In the country I actually shifted DD's school because of a local lass who just couldn't stop bullying her.

Sorry-bullying is one of my soap box topics.

[obbie]

Maddy the parent, and she got caught out by the teacher.
Hence the child got moved schools, and there has been no more bullying since.

Maddy, i'll keep a diary now.
great idea.

Robyn

[dede]

When my DS started Highschool the very first week he come home with a massive black eye. It was a totally unprovoked attack from another boy who thought my DS was someone else.
The incident happened as the boys were getting on the bus on a Friday afternoon and no teachers saw it happen.
First think Monday morning I rang the school and spoke to the principal who was great, she suspended the boy involved (a well known bully apparently) and talked to the parents who then made a time to come and see me and my DS to make their son apologize for what he had done.

I think most of the time these kind of things are dealt with appropriately. But other times they get over looked and we need to speak to the right person to make sure it is dealt with.

[CreamPuff63]

thankfully my kids have always been strong when they have been persecuted for sticking up for bullied victims. They have had to re-evaluate their friends and have found that being in "the cool group" doesn't mean that its the happiest position. I am so glad that when push came to shove they were able to stick up for milder personalities but were then able to see that they didn't like the influential personalities of the group and got out. The Cool Group is probably the worst group you would ever want your children to be in. My motto that I always harp on to my kids is "Birds of a feather flock together". Its true.

[Halex]

Bicke, that is really funny, dreaming about us!LOL or maybe yiuate so e weird stalker

Nazar, that is terrible, what an awful child espcially after how kind you were etc.

Last year ds was grabbed in gis private parts by a shocking boy at school. He was naturally upset, the mother sent feral at me, yelling abusive names at me & ds when ds told me about it. I was very upset the boy denied it, an investigation took place, the boy denied it until too many other kids sad they saw him do it. I requested they were not in the same class this year & they are not.

Investigation from toy incident, no one admits to seeing the boy throw the toy, the boy said it was an accident and thats how its been left. He was told off for picking up the toy without ds permission.

H