Totally Off Topic, sorry

[Halex]

I have been thinking this over since I picked ds (age eight years old) up from school.

DH home late, so cant discuss

Today ds news day, he took a bionicle (lego) into school for news. I dont like him taking tous in but it was built well & seemed sturdy.

At lunchtime a new boy in his class took it and smashed it on the concrete, it broke & the lego broke, not too many parts but enough that its a broken toy.

Ds didnt see it, his friend did. They Told the teacher & so far thats all
I know.

Do I ignore? Do I talk to teacher, mum & ask for a replacement.

It seemed intentional it was hdden behind ds bag.

So new to this, what I do

H

[achookwoman]

Hally,  speak to the teacher,  not the other parent.  Let the school handle it.

[Very Happy Jan]

I agree with Chookie but make sure the school does actually deal with it.

[Merlin]

Things like that make me so angry! My twins are only in prep but I can predict this type of thing happening to us. Certainly the behavior of the other child was aggressive and the act of destroying the Lego was obviously not accidental. I would definitely have a talk to the teacher and let the school speak to the parents of the other child- if you think the school is brushing the whole thing under the carpet then I would insist on the school setting up a meeting for you and the other parents along with the teacher. I think the least the other parents should do is replace the broken toy ie this  matter should certainly not be brushed aside as that doesn't  teach children anything about valuing other peoples property and respecting others. At the age of eight I thought most children do have some concept of looking after their own property and respecting that of others. It would be interesting to see how the school handles this kind of thing. I thnk they don't need to be heavy handed but someone from the school certainly needs to talk to this child as well as informing the parents of what has happened and hopefully it will be a once off. I hope your son is not too traumatized by the whole incident though as I can still remember bullies and kids' bad behavior from my own school days. Good luck anyway!

[Halex]

Thank you, yes will speak to the teacher in the mrning.

Last week ds borrowed the teachers ruler, wasnt using it all the time in the correct manner. Had it between his legs, it snapped, so he broke it. Note  came home, next day ds bought new ruler out of his money.

Be interesting to see how this pans out.

It makes me cross as ths child was just being mean, he took it at lunchtime from behind ds bag without hs knowledge.   i told ds tonight i woud do news with him, he was happy with that not sure what teacher will say. To be honest i think toys should be banned.

H

[cookie1]

Hallu we had this happen rather a lot until we banned toys from school.
Are toys allowed at school? Do they have to stay on the teacher's desk?  Go and have a chat to the teacher and find out what they school rules are.
Let us know how you go.

[Halex]

Yes cookie toys are allowed at school, personally I dont agree with it. News to me shoud be what they have done over the week with family & frends, but it apears I am in the  minority.

I let him take the bionicle a it was sturdy, I didnt exoect a child to smash it on the concrete.

H

I feel sorry for the teachers, what happened to just teaching our kids.

[Rara1]

Sorry to hear that hally.  Very upsetting for your son.
As suggested, speak to the teacher first thing in the morning.
Suggest to the teacher that if toys are brought in for show and tell that they must stay in the class room next to her desk (just a thought)
Good luck

Rara x

[Meagan]

It is hard because kids can be cruel and teachers don't always see everything!! Talk to the teacher. Good luck

[Debbiebillg]

Hally,
I do believe that what happened when the ruler was broken by misuse, has set a benchmark for how this should be treated. I would bring this into the conversation with the teacher, something like .......... the toy was broken intentionally by ....... and the other day when my son broke your ruler he was required to replace the ruler, so is this what I can expect to occur in this instance ? Our school doesn't ban toys for their talks but at parents requests the toys can be held by the teacher.  Get on your soap box lol !!!

It sends a wrong message to your son if they don't treat it the same !

[CreamPuff63]

Am I scarred or what? When I was in Grade 3 I got a Cindy doll for my birthday, and brought it to school because I didn't want to be parted from it and I wanted to show all my besties my present. Straight away it was confiscated and put up on the teachers piano. Gee I hated her, not only did she go red in the face and throw lots of chalk and dusters at me when I was talking (which was all the time) but she took my doll off me that day. I eventually got it back a couple of days later, but I sure learnt the lesson not to bring toys to school.

Does this mean:

a) do not bring toys to school to play with, because you are supposed to be learning
b) do not bring toys to school because some kids do not have toys and you set up situations where jealousy issues occur
c) they distract from schoolwork

I think it needs to be a fairly light hearted talk with the teacher, and whatever the outcome DS should not take anymore toys into school. To me it sounds like the bully perhaps has some issues going on that need to be dealt with. Not that your son should be the brunt or solver of all issues, but perhaps the bully could be invited over after school (if you can bear it) for a play with Lego.

[dede]

Definitely talk to the teacher first. I have seen mothers go straight to the child involved and growl at them, then the other mother gets involved, it's not pretty at all. And can cause some more issues than its worth.
If it happens in school then get the teacher to sort it out.
Good luck Hally. Hope it gets sorted quickly.

[Halex]

Woke up this morning at 5am with this on my mind. I hate confontation, so I am going to find this very difficult. Wish  dh could deal with it, but he will be at work.

I do think that as ds had to replace the ruler, this toy should be replaced, but there might be financial issues I dont know.

Sorry CP, I am nice but not that nice. I am not inviting him over to play, the boy has issues and I dont want to encourage  ds to play with this boy.

H

[bickie]

I think all the advice to talk to the teacher is right - but I had a similar thing happen to my dd a few years ago - and the outcome for me in my mind was - I shouldn't have let DD take the toy into school. I spoke to the teacher - but I came awy from it thinking - it is unfair on the teachers to have to deal with protecting non school property on top of everything else. Kids are kids - things get broken - your DS, like my DD has now learnt that. I do worry we step in and solve their problems far too much. I say this only because I am completely guilty of it myself - and I have resolved to try not to be a helicopter mum. I have a lot of 20 something's coming in to work for me - and I am shocked at how much they still depend on their parents to solve problems for them. Do you ever remember your Mum coming into school to solve a problem for you? I certainly don't. I went to a big busy Australian state school - and my children are at a small private English prep school - and I am not sure if it is a cultural thing - or a modern phenomenon - but the presence of mothers in their children's lives - definitely increased!

[cookie1]

Hally I do hope this goes well for you. I am concerned that the attitude may be your son should never have brought it to school, but as toys aren't banned that doesn't stand.
As i said earlier we banned toys for this very reason. If it was a birthday or similar the news was given with the toy and then it went into my locked drawer until Mum picked it up.
Be brave and I hope it goes well. 

CP your teacher sounds scarey. When I was in primary school in the bush the teacher next door threw dusters. They hit the wall so hard that we all ducked as well even though we were in the next room. I was just a mean and nasty teacher. Had great control though and heaps of fun with the kids.