Good Teachers

[DizzyGirl]

Today I had a quick talk to DS teacher who is worried about DS. Today she tested all the kids in DS class and they are all progressing well, except for DS. She is concerned and has asked for me to meet with her next Tuesday afternoon.
Today DS went to school without any Ritalin (he hasn't had Ritalin since school holidays started) and his teacher said he was fine without it and she didn't notice he hadn't had it. His paedatrician believes he has ADHD but his teacher and I both believe that's not the case. We think it is more like Sensory Processing Disorder or high functioning autism.
Does anyone know much about these?
It is so upsetting seeing your little one struggle with things and some of his peers like to pick on him because of it. He stutters, has fine and gross motor skill problems, reading problems, fussy with food textures, dislikes water on his face and is not a risk taker (more cautious) and doesn't like trying new things. He is extra clingy to me and I cannot go to school without leaving him in tears, clinging to my leg. He is nearly 8 and this is very unusual for his age.
I am so glad he has a great teacher this year who is trying to find out how he learns best and even mentioned getting an aide to help him.
I just don't know what to do. I want to do what's best for him but don't know where to start.

DG

[cecilia]

(((Hug)))  That's not a lot of use to you, DG, but it's all I can offer at the moment.

Depending on your school system, it is possible that your DS's teacher is not the only one who would be there to support him with you.

Maybe you have a Guidance Officer who could do some testing for him in school time.

It is wonderful that your DS's teacher is on the ball, but he/she may not have a lot of time to explore the options your DS needs.

So maybe phone the principal's office and ask what the other options are in your school system.

If your DS is in the state system there may be support structures outside your school.

If your DS really is on the Autism Spectrum Disorder then there would be a cooperative of parents and professionals working to support others in the same situation as your family.

It's good that you have the support of your doctor, but next time you make an appointment maybe share the insights you have as a parent and ask if there are other medications/strategies available to try.

Good luck.

[Wonder]

Sorry to hear of the problems your son is facing. I don't have any advice but feel for you, it's the worst feeling in the world knowing your kids are hurting and there is nothing you are able to do to make it better. I hope you are able to get the support needed as quickly as possible.

[Halex]

DG, my heart goes out to you, our boys are roughly the same age.

When they have pain we have it too.

Sorry dont know anything to help you, but huge hugs.

Hally

[CarolineW]

My heart really does go out to you DG. I got tears in my eyes as i read your post, because I know how we mums feel everything our children feel, plus some, and the helplessness that can bring.  I really hope you can find a solution. I agree to discuss with your Dr what you and his teacher feel.  If he isn't listening is it practical to get a second opinion?

[Frozzie]

Hi dg i have no personal experience but one of my besties has a son with high functioning autism and he is in a normal school environment however he has an aid in the classroom with him at all times as he doesnt deal with everyday things in the same manner and things like putting his hands in paint can put him in a spin and upsets him alot and also once a week he has a session with a specialist who helps him with his progress.. If i was you i would first see a doctor to have him tested.. Try to find doctors who have dealt with autistique kids to see if he even had autism etc (think its some form of behavioural test?) and go from there.. Once you find out if he is autistique or not then you can find out what help is available but i can tell you that my friends litle boy who is now six and in his third year of schooling here has made huge progress ... They try to get him To adjust to change easier to listen and to participate in class activities and its working and he has made like i said huge amount of progress.. His current issue is other school kids but anyone slightly different or sensitive will generally have issues with classmates but having a good teacher can help with that too..they are often obsessed witn a specific subject.. Is that the  case with your ds?? My friends son its fish etc and he knows the name of every kind of fish and loves everything to do with them..

Im sure whateve the problem there is help out there but your first step will be getting the right diagnosis and go from there...

Hang in there dg xx hugs

[cookie1]

DG sending lots of hugs to you. It tears our heart out when our children are left crying at school. DD was ok in the first year but the next 2 were horrid. Believe me they do settle down quite quickly. (that is the teacher speaking)
To get back to basics, has your son had his hearing and sight checked? This would probably be a good idea if it hasn't been done.
Does he look at you when he is speaking to you?
How does he cope with change?
As a teacher I could always tell if a child hadn't had his medication (they drove me crazy) but I think that was only in some of the forms of ADHD. I'm not sure how long Ritalin stays in the system either.
It certainly sounds as though he needs professional help but do take care with where it comes from. The school should have someone that may be able to help. Check with the teacher on Thursday.
Above all don't worry too much, someone somewhere will be able to help you.

[judydawn]

Sorry to hear your story DG, finding the right support for any family problem is always the hardest thing - we are usually pushed from pillar to post which is no help whatsoever.  I'm pleased to hear the teacher is being fully supportive and wish you well in your search for the correct help for your DS.  

[achookwoman]

DG,  you are fortunate to have an interested teacher.  I was wondering if the little fellow has any friends at school.  Encourage any friendship that might be there.  Talk to the teacher about this and also accept any help you can get.  See if there is a 'safe' place for him at playtime and lunch time.  Schools can be touch places even for those who do cope. You are obviously a caring Mum,  hang in there and keep asking for help at school and from the Dr. 

[cecilia]

The library is often a good option for a safe place to spend lunchtime, if the school is big enough to have it staffed and open.

[jkmt]

Hugs, DG. I have a friend whose son has high-functioning autism, and has just turned 8. While his issues sound a bit different to the challenges your son is facing (seems to be different expression with different kids), I'd really encourage you to seek further help, if possible first through your school's counsellor. There are detailed professional assessments. My friend only had the assessment done a year ago, and I know she really fought to have it and to get it for free (originally quoted hundreds of dollars). Getting that assessment changed everything for this family - they now have classroom aids, social supports, weighted blankets, special clothing, home help, etc.  She has pushed for everything. While life is still a challenge, they now have so many extra resources, and a supportive circle of people who have personal experience of autism within their families.

All the best with this, whatever the assessment says. It is so hard when we see our children struggling, especially when their peers seem to be doing ok. I'm so glad your son's teacher cares and is interested enough to want to work with you on it.

[haybray]

Hello DG I know just how you feel as I have a DS who is 8 and has similar problems although he does not have ADHD. I think he has Auditory Processing Disorder although he has not been tested. My DS also has reading and spelling problems, stutters, dislikes new things and is not a risk taker. Although his fine and gross motors skills are quite good.

I find it really frustrating as he just is not one bit interested in going to school. We live on a farm and all he wants to do is to stay home with his dad and do farming stuff. Not sure if this is his problem with learning as he is just not interested in any schoolwork and is way behind at school.

My DS is not the only boy in his year level that is struggling as there are about 10 other boys in his class with similar learning problems. I think that the class size has a bit to do with it as he has 28 students in his class. My DS gets a small amount of help with an SOS for about 1/2 a week with at least 1 or 2 others with him, which is not enough.

My DS has a few friends but he hates his stuttering. He did stutter a little at the age of 4 but went to a SP and he said that it wasnt bad enough to worry about. Just the last 6 months it has came back again, although it isn't that bad he hates it and says that other kids laugh when he does it. I have spoken to his teacher and she said that she would keep an eye on the situation. I have just booked him into a SP again so will see what happens this time. Not sure what has brought it on though.

It's very hard to have a child that has got learning problems. I have 2 other DSs and they have never had any problems so not sure why this one struggles. I guess they have all got very different personalities.

DG hope you and your DS find a way to deal with his problems and I'm thinking of you and know how you feel. It is not easy.

[DizzyGirl]

Thank you everyone for your love and support.
Haybray your DS sounds very similar to my little one. His teacher did mention Auditory Processing disorder so I might look into that. I have a referral to another paedatrician who hopefully will be able to help.

[Lellyj]

Hi Dizzy Girl

I feel for you, it must be so difficult not knowing how to help your son.  I have had a fair bit of experience with children with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorders) and certainly a number of things you describe would be considered indicators for autism or Aspberger's syndrome.  You may also like to ask your paeditrician whether dyspraxia might also be a possibility.  It is of course dangerous to do diagnosis over the internet, and I am not trained, other than being a teacher; however, I did have a student who had speech and motor problems, sensory issues and also difficulties with chewing, hence preference for sloppy foods, which was apparently all connected to dyspraxia which is a condition which affects the ability to plan muscle movements.

So good to hear that you have confidence in his teacher. I think it's great that you are going to seek another opinion.  I hate the idea of labelling children, this one has ADHD and this one ASD and this one . . . ; however, if you know which specific challenges a child faces it makes it so much easier to support them.  My son had reading difficulties and his teachers were puzzled as to why -eventually we found out that he had a visual processing problem--poor visual descrimination and sequencing problems.  He went to see an occupational therapist and a behavioural optometrist and it made a world of difference. Hopefully, you will be able to find something that works for your son too.  I wish you well in your journey into how best to help your child.

Lesley

[cookie1]

I taught a lovely girl who had dyspraxia and she spent some time at a language centre and you would not believe the change. It was exciting.
Hang in there DG and don't be fobbed off.