How do you find the time?

[dede]

Hi all,
Just thought i would put in my bit. I have 5 children aged between 4 and 15. I find that I do my house work in the morning and cooking in the afternoon. ( dosnt always work that way). I am finding the kids are getting easier as I do get to sleep all night without disturbance. My husband works everyday of the week either at his paid job or on his farm and is hardly home to help out so I do all gardening and home maitenance my self as well as housework cooking and looking after the kids. All I can say is as the kids get older life becomes a little easier. Don't overload your self thinking about all the things that need doing. I just try to achieve one big job a day. Like mowing the lawns or cleaning the house. Changing all the sheets. Cleaning the windows. Etc. One big job gives you time for cooking and other everyday jobs. That's just the way I do it and it works pretty well for me. Saying this I better go and get the house work done as I have visitors tomorrow and want to get some cooking done.

[judydawn]

dede, I take my hat off to you for doing all that you do.   Like you, I am happy if I get one job (big or small) done per day and over the moon if I get several done .

[obbie]

  Don't beat yourself up over house work.
kids and husband won't remember if the floor was clean, or ironing done, but will love it more with a happy mum, not stressed out over little things.

I wash every morning, at least 2 loads, hang out before i take the kids to school. (prep and grade 1). age 5 and 6.
Iron once a week. clean house on weekends, plan my meals on weekends.
cook every night, bake biccies, cakes, , jams,  bread, everything.
we have our own business, so i am in my office at 6am every day, before kids wake up. we are just about to expand with a retail store, trading 6 days a week, but you just do manage, and thrive on it.

I come home to my thermomix, and cook more.
look after my parents, cook alot of meals for them, my husband does the garden, i do the house.
we still have time for friends and family. in the school hols, we had 7-10 kids here most days, because its so fun here at our place.
Australia day we had a extra 4 kids, plus our 2, and other friends here for 2 days to stay, ( not planned, but great anyway.)
Robyn

[Frozzie]

i think generally being a mum and at home housewife is hard work and alot for one person to manage so dont beat yourself up...it also depends on the kids...my DD creates chaos in this house..i have two young children 2 and 5, have a housekeeper that helps out a couple of hours a week and i still dont manage to get everything done..we have loads of washing and ironing that never seem to get done but sheets are always clean, the kitchen is generally organised and food gets put on the table..i think like everyone says tis about finding the balance but even that is not so easy to do...im forever drowning in tasks to do around the house and am forever struggling to get the house organised the way i wold like it to be...maybe one day but im not beating myself up about it as like i said before im one person and im only human not superwoman lol 

[Nik2WIN]

Oh my goodness the amount some of you do everyday was making me feel REALLY inadequate! 

Then I remembered that I'd not actually had more than a handful of full night's sleep in 9 years and that my older two are on the autistic spectrum ....

Just when I get into a routine home wise another run of hospital visits throws a curve ball.   

Thanks for all your support ladies - I shall endeavour to find a better balance of cooking/baking etc.  I think that I'm still struggling with trying to catch up with being away last weekend - I left DH with the children so they were still here making mess ....

Nik

[amgrantham81]

We all work to the best of our ability. And some days we try and push ourselves way too far, LOL.
Life cant be easy with kids on the Autisitic spectrum, although very rewarding at times too from what I am told.  Life with kids in general certainly has moments both ways.

Dh and I are doing a plan for ourselves at the moment.  I need to let him cook some nights, and I need to accept that thermie wont be used those nights and that is ok.

Leaving kids home with Dad's for a weekend is sometimes a great reprive, but it does also generally come with catching up consequences. I have two weekends away in March, and while I am desperately looking forward to some kiddie free time, the results will be me playing catch up for a month.  But that's the way it goes.

It's often easy to look at someone elses life and say "Gee they do a lot" or "Wow, I could never do that" but its hard to turn back and look at all we acheive in a day too.

[Ceejay]

Another with 4 kids here.  16, 9, 5 and 3... and two of the boys are ASD, ADHD and the eldest was diagnosed with a rare terminal cancer 10 years ago. 3 boys and a girl. 

Life never stops (being a single parent I'm kind of glad I have plenty of energy) but I spend mornings doing basic tidying, washing and cleaning the kitchen.
This is the first year I've only had one at home during the week in like forever or so it feels!
Afternoons are usually for cooking/baking etc.  I have a deal with the older children (although the 3yo likes to be included) that if they help tidy and clean, they each get to choose something to make during the cooking time. 
Somewhere in there I usually have at least 3 appointments a week to attend... with or without children in tow. 

As well as that, I admin on two forums and train for roller derby 2 times a week... oh and I usually do the housework on skates too with the music turned up.  Makes it fun and the kids join in!  Yes, they each have their own sets of skates too (with full safety gear!).   

[judydawn]

  That would be a sight to behold Ceejay.  I'd be forever picking myself up off the floor 

[Ceejay]

That would be a sight to behold Ceejay.  I'd be forever picking myself up off the floor 

The kids and our friends are quite used to it now. 

Deciding whether to explain if I have to meet the postie at the door or such is a little more difficult at times! 

[Frozzie]

Wow ceejay havé to say hat goes off to a single mum... My hubby works long hours and is not often home which means i do both inside and outside of the house, shopping, cooking, school stuff (they start at three here and m'y ds eats at Home so its 4 trips to and from school a day)  and bills etc. which is why we got someone to help a little each week which just takes the edge off and im grateful for that little bit of help!! .... But once in a while when hubby is Home i can escape for a bit but like amgrabrham that always means catchup because i dont know what they do when im gone but its usually like a tornado has hit!! 

[dede]

I remember when my youngest was born 4 years ago and had to stay in hospital for 11 days because he was 5 weeks prem. My hubby had to look after 4 children under 10. The house was so unorganized and it took me days and days to catch up. Luckily my new baby was a good sleeper and the other kids were at school except for my then 3 year old. But we had no choice but to cope at the time. It can be hard trying to juggle busy lifes but I guess 1 day at a time. As long as our kids are healthy and happy is the most important thing. House work can always wait.

[NICKY 74]

i always think, wow, how do they do it beause i find it a constant battle! i have just found a solution though that works for me, (not everyone will like this though) as of beginning of january i put the kids into daycare 1 day a week so that i can get my jobs done. (i am loving this because i had previously had approx 3 child free days in 3 years) i was finding that i was battling to get anything done as one or both of the kiddies were wanting constant attention, and was therefore getting frustrated and grumpy because i had a messy, dirty house yet didnt get much time to sit down and have quality time with the kids. now i get all my jobs done on that one day apart from laundry which i do everyday and obviously cooking, but have so much more time to play and do stuff with the kids (2 & 3 years) 3 yr old also starts kindy next week so will now have a day just with ds which i havnt had before on his own. although they are still so young, i am finding it gets easier every day, as they actually play together now (and fight) so they do amuse each other a bit too.
so i am one much happier mum because i feel better when the house is clean. (although i cleaned it thoroughly on thursday, i have guests for dinner tomorrow and have spent the last 2 hours after kids gone to bed vaccuming, mopping and tidying) so much easier when they are out of the way. that can also be another challenge if they play up when going to bed it is hard to get things done at night til late when you are so tired.
another tip: make a list of jobs for the day, add the things you have already done, and cross them off, (makes you feel better seeing all that you have done) put 'eat chocolate' on the list and you know you will get at least get one thing done!
thanks for listening, nicky 

[hools003]

I'm definately a list person. I write down all the things I want to achieve that day and I feel really good when I see chores crossed off. I normally try and get the kitchen cleaned up and a load of washing in the machine, make beds and general tidy before going either to work or sport. When I get home I'll hang out washing and maybe start dinner and general cleaning. I'm waiting for the kids to go back to school on Wednesday so I can paint and decorate 2 bedrooms. Impossible in the holidays as I'm taxi Driver for my nearly 14 yr old. He thinks I am at his beck and call. So as they get older it sort of gets easier but not!!! They don't get tidier either!

[Frozzie]

i always think, wow, how do they do it beause i find it a constant battle! i have just found a solution though that works for me, (not everyone will like this though) as of beginning of january i put the kids into daycare 1 day a week so that i can get my jobs done. (i am loving this because i had previously had approx 3 child free days in 3 years) i was finding that i was battling to get anything done as one or both of the kiddies were wanting constant attention, and was therefore getting frustrated and grumpy because i had a messy, dirty house yet didnt get much time to sit down and have quality time with the kids. now i get all my jobs done on that one day apart from laundry which i do everyday and obviously cooking, but have so much more time to play and do stuff with the kids (2 & 3 years) 3 yr old also starts kindy next week so will now have a day just with ds which i havnt had before on his own. although they are still so young, i am finding it gets easier every day, as they actually play together now (and fight) so they do amuse each other a bit too.
so i am one much happier mum because i feel better when the house is clean. (although i cleaned it thoroughly on thursday, i have guests for dinner tomorrow and have spent the last 2 hours after kids gone to bed vaccuming, mopping and tidying) so much easier when they are out of the way. that can also be another challenge if they play up when going to bed it is hard to get things done at night til late when you are so tired.
another tip: make a list of jobs for the day, add the things you have already done, and cross them off, (makes you feel better seeing all that you have done) put 'eat chocolate' on the list and you know you will get at least get one thing done!
thanks for listening, nicky 

nicky i think its better all round if they spend a bit of time at daycare..i think its a good solution if you can do it as not only do you get things done but they learn to socialise with others and not be so dependant on mum ..i too hate the house not being clean..and it can start to bug me.its different for mums whose kids are calm..i have one sort of calm and the other is a permannent tornado so impossible to get anything done and she is home all the time....better to have a happy mum and spend quality time with your kids with a reasonably tidy huse..happy all round!!  obviously everyone has a different opinion but i wouldnt be feeling guity and only you know whats best for you and your family 

[Nik2WIN]

nicky i think its better all round if they spend a bit of time at daycare..i think its a good solution if you can do it as not only do you get things done but they learn to socialise with others and not be so dependant on mum ..i too hate the house not being clean..and it can start to bug me.its different for mums whose kids are calm..i have one sort of calm and the other is a permannent tornado so impossible to get anything done and she is home all the time....better to have a happy mum and spend quality time with your kids with a reasonably tidy huse..happy all round!!  obviously everyone has a different opinion but i wouldnt be feeling guity and only you know whats best for you and your family 

I suppose its time to 'fess up.  My youngest IS in daycare - three days a week.  He goes to a childminder who is like his adoring gran!  I also have a cleaner for 2 hours twice a week!!  I think I've been spending so much of my time cooking and baking that I've actually given almost 1/2 of it away ....  The tidying up from my cooking marathons takes forever too

To be honest I think that the main problem is that I'm exhausted.  I'm woken at least once a night, every night and have been for years.  I don't get enough sleep when I am in bed and the nature of the boys problems means that life with them, although never boring, is very stressful.  DH works away so there is no one to share the load except at weekends when he's so knackered from working that he merely wears a hole in the sofa ...

I probably don't actually get that much done in the day because I'm so knackered from the night that I'm busy taking breaks.  The last three weeks the childminder has been on a break as she's having her kitchen done which has shot her stress levels through the roof so I've been looking after her AND the cleaner phoned in sick.  We're desperately trying to get the house ready to sell so that we can move closer to work and all live TOGETHER!!!  That's also really stressful because, looking ahead, it will mean school changes for the children etc. etc ....

I hope this doesn't sound like a whinge because it certainly isn't meant to be.  I quite like the frantic pace of my life.

Nik