What age/when is it okay to leave kids home alone?

[obbie]

  my kids are 6 & 7, and i live on acreage, but I wouldn't leave them at home.
Its a ten minute drive to school / work.
although we don't have many neighbors around us, except for my parents.
that is a hard one, as maturity differs with ages.

Robyn

[CreamPuff63]

I believe that kids should not be wrapped up in cotton wool and molly coddled. They should be allowed to play outside with their friends, walk over/ride their bikes to friends houses and go any reasonable distance (safety hazards pending of course eg. busy roads). Basically parents need to know where their children are, and what each parent decides to do will depend on the age and individual maturity levels of each child.

Too often parents want to chaperone and monitor everything their children say and do and these poor kids grow up stifled without any sense of independance, maturity, confidence, free time, responsibility, exercise, imagination and fun. They need to be educated on what to do in regards to road safety, stranger danger, how to call emergency services etc so they know what to do if the situation ever arises. There is safety in numbers and more children should be walking to and from school. There are a lot of good people in this world, and they outnumber the bad. A lot of parents would like to be able to leave a child/teenager for a reasonable amount of time but peer pressure makes them feel guilty and a bad parent for doing so. At any time any thing can happen whether there is a responsible adult present or not, but you still have to give kids some breathing space of their own so they are not smothered and can grow into well balanced adults confident within themselves. Sometimes parents have no other choice, and there may be strict rules in place for the way in which their child fills the time they are not being supervised. My views come from growing up in a country town, however I still upheld these views when we raised our kids in the city and it was just the other day my DD21 was saying she hopes that she will be able to do the same for her children when she has them as she feels the positives far outweigh the negatives.

[Carine]

Yep:  education is the key.
It also depends of your situation and the maturity of your kids.  Many parents haven't got the option too...
We live 25k out of town (closest neighbour 2km) and I've left my boys (nearly 11 and 13) home alone a few times in the last year. I wouldn't have done it before.
Mobile phone makes things easier for me when I'm working in the paddocks and my sons are home, but then it's also for my own safety   
I guess you gradually give more & more independance to your kids and leaving them home alone (when they're ready for it!) is part of them growing up.

[Frozzie]

I dont think they are being wrapped up in cotton wool but there is also common sense and its not about peer pressure imo but necessity...kids today get taken out of their own front yards...it is in no way teh same world is was and will only get worse so they need to be armed for todays world and unfortunately again imo that means less freedom than others may have had or freedom but in numbers and very much aware of the dangers... again also depends on age and maturity..it oten doesnt come down to the individual but dumb luck that nothing bad happens... also depends on the kids...my kids attract weirdos for some reason and when you see creepy men trying to come up to your kids with your own eyes or konw of several people who have been approached or bought things by strangers (yes im focusig on one element and there are many dangers) I think you would think twice about letting them run all over hte place.

Every parent should have the choice to do as they think is fit but for me..we dont live in a world where you can leave kids alone and trust them to go here and there alone...the majority of missing children disappear in those situations..  Quite recently over here there were two kids (different places) taken from their own yards jsut playing ..one the father was not far away and unfortunately the girl got taken but they got her back quickly, the other not so lucky..another a while back a little boy left home alone while his parents went to dinner at a restaurant down the road as the kid didnt want to come ..he was 6..kid taken as someone was watching...and the famous maddy in portugal..left in the room with brothers and sisters again gone because her parents left them alone while eating out (not far away but still not with them)...sorry its just pure selfishness not at all about making them independant.  Even some of our friends have left kids alone for a short period (young children) to go to the shops..seriously how hard it is to take the kids with you..others will never go grocery shopping or any shopping with their kids as they find it annoying..grrrr if kids are that much of a hassle then SOME peope shouldnt bother having them...gets up my goat!  

[Decadent Dot]

I’m with Cream Puff on this issue. I believe that a parent (just like any animal) should be educating their child to be a well balanced independent.  I am heartily sick of what they call “a Nanny state” here in England. Neither, parents, schools not even the law has any control over children these days. They grow up all too often (especially the boys) at not being able to do anything for themselves. They can’t cook or clean and in some cases I think the parents selfishly choose to want to keep their offspring in a childlike state. Children are clever enough to manipulate grown ups and get what they want and I find that they have a lot less respect for their parents than my generation.  Sadly, they recognise their own importance. They have no need to to earn their pocket money since spending money is given without any effort. It’s no wonder that many of these kids are relying on the Bank of mum and dad when they grow up. I was an Army wife when I raised my children. My children were proud when it came to the time to go to school on their own. It was a sort of freedom of passage point. The age can be different depending on the child’s maturity. I made it my business to be there when they came home from school. I have no patience for the mother who sits out her maternity leave and then puts the baby into nursery care to go back to her career.  Why bother having a baby at all for strangers to raise.  There used to be a saying “give me a child from 0 to 5 and I will show you the man or woman.”   I think it wrong to take away their adventurous spirit and take away their freedom. I certainly told mine the truth about how the world was and how to be on their guard but I did not teach them not to trust anyone. There are always exceptions to every rule. I wonder if there are actually more predetors out there these days or is it that we hear about them more. When caught, predators of children are often found to come from disfunctional backgrounds themselves.  Right it's time to jump off the soap box and get some work done  You certainly opened a can of worms here tarasis!!

[Frozzie]

not sure there are so many more predators but these days society is alot more accepting ....not like the 'old' days when anyone odd or different was run out of town...

my kids have adventurous spirit which is usually what gets them into trouble and I dont believe in blocking htat either but I do believe in freedom within certain limits if that makes sense...

this subject is very sensitive and there are different types of parents out there...my kids go places, travel alot and are alot more aware of the world than the majority of their friends even at their young age...doesnt stop me from protecting them which is after all my job!  I have no doubt they will be independant, strong, outgoing and well educated and well travelled adults...its also easy for the lazy parent to put labels on something like independance...

also want to note that I do not intend to offend anyone else but this is a very important subject to me...I have my opinions but they are jsut that...my opinions in the end and they will not change...your quite right dot..Can of worms lol

[Decadent Dot]

Same worms Frozzie, just a different label on the can lol!

[tarasis]

So, um, first apologies for breaking the conversation out and trying to continue it. I didn't mean to start a thread that would be so divisive / bring any disharmony to the forum.

Has anyone read this website http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/, I find it very interesting.

I hadn't before but it does look interesting particularly the discussion that its actually safer now than it ever has been BUT because of the proliferation of media available now we are more aware of the cases of childnapping and other incidents around the world. I think that is largely true, particularly regarding other things like murders, indecent assaults by ministers / pastors in churches and so on.

I've run out of time to add more (got distracted), back later

... slight addenum as some posts since I started

You certainly opened a can of worms here tarasis!!

I know :/ but that said the conversation is interesting.

[judydawn]

As a grand-parent, I am far more protective than I was as a parent but times have changed and I don't think I am alone on that one.  I once gave a friend a protection device to carry around with her when she had to walk at night to her car or unit - you pressed the button and it screamed like crazy.  I'd be inclined to give one to any young person to carry whilst walking to school or elsewhere as I'm sure a prospective snatcher would not want to hang around once it started screaming.

[fundj&e]

 I am watching the Oslo bombing on channel 7, my DD was only 20meters away from the bombing .
Keep them safe  as long as possibly

[Frozzie]

love the new pic dot 

JD good idea with the screaming thing...I remember those...i also have my mobile number on the kids bags and an sos keyring that has a recording of their name, address etc on it (in case they get lost) ...makes them feel more at ease that they just have to press the button to give their home details etc as when they are little and lost ..they dont often know their full address or phone number..

[meganjane]

JD, grandparents are far more careful than parents in many cases, I guess they're not your kids, so you take extra care.

My children were very responsible, as they grew up in a farm environment. I didn't leave them home on their own though, because their was no need!
Kids join in with with adults at social activities  in the country. We would pop them in the back of the station wagon with their doonas at night and check on them every half hour or so. They have fond memories of this.

My kids had a lot of freedom - but this also came with responsibility. Learning to ride a motorbike meant you checked the sheep. Learning to shoot a rifle meant you culled kangaroos when necessary. Rules were strict and, as far as we know, adhered to. Consequences were very carefully spelled out!

I do think that there isn't a 'right' age, it does depend on where you live.


fundj, how terrifying!!

[Frozzie]

I am watching the Oslo bombing on channel 7, my DD was only 20meters away from the bombing .
Keep them safe  as long as possibly

that would be terrifying...does she live there or was she visiting?

[Decadent Dot]

love the new pic dot 

Thanks Frozzie, Its a case of keeping up with the birthdays. lol

[fundj&e]

I am watching the Oslo bombing on channel 7, my DD was only 20meters away from the bombing .
Keep them safe  as long as possibly

that would be terrifying...does she live there or was she visiting?

It was very terrifying frozzie .the worst part for me was when she told us how is got out of there
Never in a million years would I have thought she would hitch a ride with a complete stranger

DD went traveling when she was 18 on her own,come back home for 1 year and off again. she is living oslo with her partner.we are meeting up in bali in march next year for her 22nd b/day