What age/when is it okay to leave kids home alone?

[KarenH]

I grew up in a small country town and remember walking alone to and from school once I was in Grade 2 (about 6 years old) - I loved it!  I could explore things and play along the way.  I also remember on the weekends being able to ride our bikes around the town for hours and do all sorts of things, and my parents didnt know exactlyl where we were - just "out riding the bikes".  But the world we live in today is very sadly not the same .......... My children are still very young, so leaving them alone is still not an issue for us, but I would love to give them some of the sense of independence and ability to explore the world at their own pace that we had when growing up, and it is going to be a very fine line later on to decide what is safe and what is not. 

I also remember as a University student getting quite drunk at parties and hitchhiking home    I also used to pick up hitchhikers when I was driving in the country.  Thanks goodness no harm ever came of that!  We really do live in a differerent world now, one less innocent, which I find very sad.

[Bedlam]

I am finding this topic very interesting. I agree with tarasis in that the world is how it has always been and easy access to the press give you the appearance of it being worse. I am almost 50 and had a few scary incidents growing up - as a young tall 12 or 13 year old, attempted abduction and sexual assault! I believe education is the best weapon. I also believe in age appropriate freedom and allowing more as each child proves their ability ( although I find it very hard as am a mother hen at heart).  As far as being on the streets and walking alone at 6, i dont think peripheral vision is aquired until around 11 and personally until that age I would be accompaning them. This way when they did it alone they had the skills to do it safely.My babies are now 17,20,22.( I found it very hard leaving my 2 young ones home this last month, they did so well and now even make their own bread and came home to flowers a clean house and appreciation for all that has been done in the past - I know off the subject but just wanted to be the proud Mum I am)

[jkmt]

I agree with Tarasis & Bedlam that the constant 24/7 of the media makes us much more aware of the dangers that have always been there. After reading this thread, I was thinking that I feel safer now occasionally leaving my DS10 at home for an hour or so, than I did staying home alone when I was a 12-year-old. Back then, we had no phone, no internet - when I was left alone on the odd occasion, I was truly alone. These days, our phone numbers, along with those of a dozen other helpful people, are all on speed dial, so he is just the touch of a button away from contact. When we do leave him alone, he sees it as a privilege and relishes that independence, knowing full well that if he doesn't do his homework/assigned chores, then he won't get the privilege again any time soon.

Mind you, just because I might allow this particular child to stay home alone occasionally, it doesn't mean I'd automatically let another child stay home. It would depend on their maturity, their competency, as well as the location we were talking about. I do think we need to encourage independence and responsibility in our kids in general though, in whatever way we deem as low-risk for them as we can. While I might let DS10 walk along our quiet road to his bus stop where other school  families will be waiting, I wouldn't let him walk along a main road to a bus stop where he knows no-one.

[leesmac78]

Mom and Dad left me at home when I was around eight or nine for whole days.  Before that, I came home when I was about seven and let myself into the house and waited an hour or so until they came home from work.  I think my first overnight was when I was twelve. I was/am an only child and perhaps I was rather well equipped to being independent from an early age.  I wonder what Mom and Dad would do nowadays in this climate.  I loved being home alone and there was always a telephone close by if I needed them. 

xxx

 

[KarenH]

Tarasis - wish you lived closer!  My DH is also a stay-at home Dad with 2 boys and a TMX - and loves role-playing games 

[significance]

I'm not a parent, so not in a position to have a real opinion here.

But I'm wondering - those of you who think kids shouldn't be left alone until their teens or later - how did your parents handle this when you were kids? Were you never left alone or with other kids? If you were, do you think that was inappropriate?

It's a myth that the world has got more dangerous. There are real dangers, but there always were.

fwiw: As far as I remember, I walked the short distance to school and home with my sister (1 year older than me) from about age 6, and we stayed home alone for 45 minutes or so after school until Mum got home, or while they were out grocery shopping, from about age 8. I think I was 10 or 11 before we were left home without a babysitter at night, and about 12 before I caught the bus into town alone or with friends. There were no adverse consequences for us, but this was in the 70s and 80s, and I know expectations have changed.

[brazen20au]

i think the stats on sexual assault of children is that over 60% of offenders are family members or people who are close friends of the family, trusted people.  children are much less likely to be assaulted by random strangers. (despite what the media might want us to believe)

[fundj&e]

so true its well over 60% 

[tarasis]

Indeed at first one of the theories about Maddys disappearance in Portugal was that it was possibly her parents.

Bob was reading to me the tragic story of 2 3.5 year old twins that happened very recently in Hamburg. Dad was cooking in the kitchen, the kids were entertaining themselves and one twin put the other in the tumbledrier, closed the door and turned it on. A short time later the other twin went and got dad and dragged him to the machine but by then it was too late :/

[Nay-nay]

This subject was on 'A Current Affair' last night. A single mum had to leave her 8 year old at home alone (one off time) as the baby sitter was sick and she got charged by police, had to go to court and nearly got him taken off her. I was unaware that there is a Law in Australia against leaving children under 12 alone for any period??? 

[jkmt]

Nay-Nay, thanks for that one. I'd actually been told by a researcher that there was no law in Australia that specified a minimum age. Must watch the progrm. I know plenty of parents who breach that law, and I would consider every single one of them concerned, loving parents who have their children's best interests at heart.

[Frozzie]

Funny how the law finds that âge inappropriate 

There was also a show Like ACA that had parents who said their kids were fine alone at Home and would never open the door etc. And so they did a test and every Time the stranger was allowed in... Parents were shocked

Bottom Line is at that âge kids are too naïve nô matter what you think and should not be left alone 

[Chelsea (Thermie Groupie)]

I do agree with you Frozzie.  Better to be safe than sorry. I wouldn't consider leaving my boys home alone for even a short amount of time until they are in high school (12+) and then only if I felt they were responsible and capable. I am very over-protective at times though. I still have horrible nightmares about my youngest son running out on the road in front of a car.  He isn't a crazy toddler anymore (now aged 3.5yrs) but the nightmares continue. It's hard to keep it all in perspective when you love them so much!

[Frozzie]

very true chelsea..my kids are very active and alwsays up to something...im sure if i had nice quiet kids that are happy to sit and play things may be slightly different although i am a mother hen when it comes to my kids..

[Decadent Dot]

I thought that you might like to hear of my children’s exploits whilst I left them at home. My DH and I went on a scouting trip to Queensland from England. We left my 15 year old DD and My 16 year old DS in our hotel which was closed for the winter. My young DS was in boarding school. My daughter took a booking for a 56 seater coach for lunch. She bought ready cooked sliced meat from the local butchers but made everything else herself. They left her with a substantial tip for an excellent meal. Meanwhile my young DS phoned his brother and declared that he would run away if someone didn’t take him out of the school as he hated it. My elder DS thereupon went to Lancaster where the school was and arranged for his brother to leave. When we came back from Oz and asked how everything had been, they told me that not much had happened at all.