Help getting family to do more

[Katiej]

Good on you Mandi for leaving them to fend for themselves this morning.  You need to sit back for a bit and rest up.

I don't have any kids and I have a partner who is very handy and helpful around the house.  I probably can't even comprehend the amount of work five kids would make and the amount of food needed to feed them.  I'd probably faint if I saw how much washing you have    So I'm probably not the one to give you advice

But I'd hit them were it hurts, their stomach!  Stop providing all those lovely meals and treats you make.  
I'd also stop using the term "helping me" (you didn't create all the washing, sleep in all the beds, eat all that food, use all those dishes etc).

Good luck, stay strong and most importantly take care of yourself xx

[dede]

Good point Katie, I guess it's not help me more like help them self

[RosieB]

Good point Katie, I guess it's not help me more like help them self

Absolutely Mandi.
I really get cranky when DH says look what I did for you (swept the floor, Hung out washing etc.)   
My response is. "Did for us!!"
I used to do everything and be mega fussy,  But now I can't and have to accept things different to how I would do them.  But I refuse to accept that it is just being done for me.   
We all make the work and all benefit from cleaning up.
And DH and DGS are no getting better at "putting things away, rather than putting things down"
I got tired of always having the coffee jar put on the bench rather than back on the shelf etc.  Now I don't clear up and it is dawning on them it isn't fairies in the kitchen that were doing it for all these years.   

If you stay strong now,  You will benefit in the long run as what they learn now will have become second nature to them and with a bit of prompting will improve in time. 

[Frozzie]

Stay strong mandi... I think alot of dhs and kids take us for granted.. My dh always says i should be grateful because he did something for me like empty the dishwasher ggrrrrrrr and an example of totally being taken for granted was yesterday when everything had to be cleaned up and im running all over the house not only cleaning up but grtting everything organised for the party this weekend and marathon cooking as well as shopping errands et etc and my three little and big devils just sat there abd watched tv not at all phased by me running around doing everything.. I had a mini fit at them later that morning and asked dh to at least back me up in teaching the kids to be responsible for their mess not that it changed alot... Make sure you stik to your guns and dont cave as i know its not easy when you like things a certain way and just leave the house alot more to keep your sanity if it helps 😊

[dede]

I think it's an ongoing problem in a lot of families Frozzie. I have downloaded a chore chart for my iPad. It's quiet good and I can set rewards (nothing to big, but enough to give them a goal to achieve )
Hopefully this will help with getting the kids to help out. Although DS 16 doesn't seem to interested in the chore chart at all. I think maybe he's a bit old for rewards, so I will have to work on him differently with threats of not doing his washing, or not driving him about on a weekend etc etc.

There is going to be a change in this house hold if it kills me lol.

[faffa_70]

Keep strong Dede, and if you really want to write on your freezer, put some clear contact over it. You can replace it as it needs to when it doesn't rub off as easily and when you are really finished any sticky that is left will come off with eucalyptus oil. You are doing a great job and now is the time for you family to look after you 

[dede]

Good idea Faffa. I knew someone would have a great idea. The big jobs I need doing will be up on the freezer for everyone to see. And the everyday chores I will have on my iPad to tick off when they are done.

[RosieB]

Keep strong Dede, and if you really want to write on your freezer, put some clear contact over it. You can replace it as it needs to when it doesn't rub off as easily and when you are really finished any sticky that is left will come off with eucalyptus oil. You are doing a great job and now is the time for you family to look after you 

I have seen stick on white boards and blackboards for sale that may work as well.
They are meant to be removable from walls without doing damage and look to be like a contact type material.
I have considered getting some for DGS bedroom wall.
Also..  We bought a fridge door from the dump  to use as a magnet/white board.  cost a couple dollars   
It works really well.
DH took all the shelving lining off and used them in his shed,  Cleaned it up and gave a polish with car wax.       and turned on its side the handle became a perfect place for the duster and markers.  It is screwed onto the wall quite solidly.  DGS played with it a lot.

[mcmich]

I  I think maybe he's a bit old for rewards, so I will have to work on him differently with threats of not doing his washing, or not driving him about on a weekend etc etc.

It gets harder when they are working and paying board.
As he's too young to drive, cutting off the transport is a very smart move.

[faffa_70]

I  I think maybe he's a bit old for rewards, so I will have to work on him differently with threats of not doing his washing, or not driving him about on a weekend etc etc.

It gets harder when they are working and paying board.
As he's too young to drive, cutting off the transport is a very smart move.

Turn off the internet!! 

[mcmich]

Faffa, another smart move - turn off the internet - unless he has a phone that goes onto the internet.
I think I'm the only one that has a mobile phone that only makes calls.

[Cornish Cream]

I think I'm the only one that has a mobile phone that only makes calls.

Mine only makes calls as well,so you are not alone

[mcmich]

[Mine only makes calls as well,so you are not alone
[/quote]
Well that's reassuring - was going to give the phone up altogether, although DH thought I may need it as I'm a shift worker.
Have done shift work all my life - haven't used it yet.

[dede]

Turning off the Internet is a great idea too. Lots of threats I can use to make him help out.

[faffa_70]

Faffa, another smart move - turn off the internet - unless he has a phone that goes onto the internet.
I think I'm the only one that has a mobile phone that only makes calls.

Yep but the phone is still limited lol and if they are hooking up to the wifi so they don't have to pay for data or use up their data, it stops that too 

All of mine are on their own little network so to speak (or for the techies have their own SSID's) with a password that they set. I can turn each one off individually as required. The two that are working and paying board haven't been smart enough yet to go and buy their own to stop me doing it lol